You're Not A Real Fashion Victim 'Til You've Landed In The ER

Illustration for article titled You're Not A Real Fashion Victim 'Til You've Landed In The ER

Poor Simon Doonan: the writer and creative director of Barneys New York is suffering from a fashion-inflicted injury, or so he says in his column in this week's New York Observer.

I once laughed unsympathetically when my mother's best friend broke her thumb putting on her girdle, and now, lo many years later, God has seen fit to punish me... It's hard to say if my affliction is more or less embarrassing than that girdle-mangling horror of yore. I will let you be the judge. Here goes: I was felled by a man-bag, a Goyard man-bag at that...After two or three years of lugging round my luxe accessory...I incurred a nasty case of bicep tendinitis....[It] is a painful and immobilizing condition involving months of rehab.


Motivated by his sorry state, Doonan set out to track down fellow victims of the thing we call fashion. After all, who amongst us has not pulled a Linda Wells? (Says the Allure editor-in-chief: "There I was in the dressing room, trapped in a designer straitjacket [aka - a Prada turtleneck], mortified...I still can't understand how one can get into something but not get out of it.")

Doonan's other fashion victim pals include realtor Burt Minkoff (angora in the contact lens landed him in the ER); gallerist Karen Boltrax (Paul Smith clogs fucked up her feet); an anonymous Allure staffer (thrombosis from too-tight leather pants — guesses, anyone?); and US Weekly's Sasha Charnin Morrison (took a tumble leaving a Versace show, got a photo and a Versace band-aid to prove it).

I for one, have an anecdote: It was my sophomore year of college and I had signed up to be a tour guide for prospective students and their parents. Finishing up a tour while walking forwards (not backwards, like a good tour guide should!) in my brand spankin' new ballet flats — which just might have been an eency bit loose in the heel — I tripped, took flight, and landed face down, using only my knees to break my fall. I was rushed to the ER, as the doc on campus was positive I had not one but two broken kneecaps. (They ended up being severely bruised, and I was put on bedrest for 2 weeks.)

Anyway: So here's the challenge: Can you guys top these fashion injury stories? Go for it. Make our day.

Ouch! Argh! We Tumble, We Fall: Fashion Injuries, or the Agony of Angora [NY Observer]



When I was 13, I was blow-drying my hair to make it all Madonna-in-Like a Virgin, and I sprained my wrist. So I had to go to the ER to get it put in a cast, with one side of all my head all big and puffy, and one side just the limp straight hair I was born with.