Your Life Might've Been Different If Michelle Trachtenberg Hadn't Turned Down Twilight

Kristen Stewart detractors who also happen to be fans of Buffy will be punching holes through walls when they hear that Michelle Trachtenberg was supposed to play Bella Swan in that small indie flick Twilight. Saying she was tipped for the lead because she’s besties with director Catherine Hardwicke, Michelle turned it down amid fears she’d be typecast. “I already have Buffy,” she said. “I’ve already done the vampire thing.” Cat sound! [Ministry Of Gossip]

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Many of us have wondered what makes Blake Lively such hot shit when it comes to poor tastemakers like Anna Wintour. Really, can someone explain? Meanwhile, Scarlett Johansson goes one better and ponders why guys like her ex-husband Ryan Reynolds can’t stay away from her, either. “Scarlett is pissed that he’s not under her spell anymore,” said a source type. “She realized what a great catch Ryan was.” [US]

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Speaking of fabricated lady-fights, they’re not the only two prepared to tear each other a new asshole if it comes down to it, with Betty White and Tina Fey going head-to-head at the Grammys for best spoken word album. Just add in Kristen Wiig and you have a marry boff kill for the ages! [People]

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With a thousand children, it makes sense that Brad Pitt has become an expert in conflict resolution. The actor sharing some sage advice after a guy expressed his suicidal thoughts at a Q&A that followed a Moneyball screening. “Look, man, life is up and down, it’s a vicious cycle, but you have to go through it and deal with that,” he said, before getting a little fortune cookie-ish. “You can be down, but then you come back up again, and every failure can lead to success.” [NYDN]

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From Gwyneth Paltrow‘s kid Apple to Madonna‘s son Rocco, here’s the (not really) definitive list of celeb kids who’ve been put on varying degrees of vegan/gluten-free/macrobiotic diets. Now, I don’t have children as I believe they’re the work of the devil, but I would be curious to hear from moms about this because if it were up to me they’d be downing NyQuil for breakfast, lunch and dinner. [US]

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• Selma Blair wishes someone had told her that her hair could fall out due to the hormonal changes that come from having kids. [People]
• If there’s one thing that can renew our interest in the whole Kris Humphries/Kim Kardashian divorce snooze-fest it’s talk of dismissing the prenup. [Radar]
• Congrats to Britney Spears who is turning 30 today. Condolences to the rest of us who realize this means we’re that much closer to the grave. [TMZ]
• First she gets bangs and now she stays up past her bedtime writing songs? Taylor Swift is crazy y’all! [Page Six]
• Delicate rosebuds across the land contract in shock upon hearing that Demi Moore‘s reps have denied she’s dating dedicated vagina fan Scott-Vincent Borba. [The Superficial]
• Sean Combs showed a little class when he snapped up a Tracey Emin at the Basel Art Fair, but then lowered the tone a notch by asking for a discount. [Page Six]
• Who wants a Nicki Minaj Barbie doll? Personally, I’d prefer a Sophia Grace doll. [Bilboard]
• Sad faces all round — Muhammad Ali was “secretly” rushed to hospital unconscious a couple of weeks back. Though he’s home now, he’s said to be in bad shape. [Radar]
• Glee‘s Mark Salling is clearly a fan of Showgirls, making us a fan of him. [E!]
• “Literary lothario” (gross) Salman Rushdie makes his second Dirt Bag appearance in as many days for being a sleazy prick. [Page Six]
• Our very own Dodai clearly agrees, saying the writer suffers from “trophyism” due to his inability to pursue anyone but the most symmetrical of women. [NYP]
• Casper Smart needs to develop a tougher skin if he’s going to date Jennifer Lopez. The dancer packing a sad and Tweeting up storm because the mean kids are making fun of him. [E!]
• J.R. Martinez says it’s just as well he won a spot in People mag’s Sexiest Men Alive issue: “After 33 surgeries, I better be!” [Radar]
• Things got a little randy between Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep at the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation’s gala dinner at Cipriani the other night. [Page Six]
• Meryl also took viral marketing to a patient new level when she inadvertently crashed a couple’s wedding while filming The Iron Lady — with photos just surfacing now. [Daily Mail]
• Mariah Carey‘s kids will grow up to be excessively spoiled brats if it kills her. [Ministry Of Gossip]
• Real estate porn: the Jennifer Hudson edition. [Daily Mail]
• Your eyes may roll back inside your head with pleasure upon learning that Gary Busey and his teeth will be appearing on Celebrity Wife Swap. [Vulture]