As we all know, 2012 is the year the world as we know it will cease to exist. Or at least, that's what the Mayans and that John Cusack movie want us to believe. Are there signs that the apocalypse is not mere months away? Yes. But then again, things happen that have us wondering: How did we get in this handbasket and why is it so hot? It's tough to tell if that sound we hear is the clippity-clop of the Four Horsemen or just a new Rihanna single. That's why we have Jezebel's Monthly Apocalypse Index, in which we keep count of the many Signs The Apocalypse Is Nigh as well as the Signs Everything Is Gonna Be Okay. We'll do this on a monthly basis until December, when fire and brimstone will prevent us from going on. Ready?
- The planet Venus is slowing down… Maybe the universe is dying? (+50)
- A glacier in Antarctica has a huge crack and we might just get slammed by a chunk of ice larger than all of New York City. (+200)
- Hep C is now killing more people than HIV. (+20)
- Soon our planet will be dominated by mosquitoes, ticks, rodents and jellyfish. Sounds like humans are dropping on the food chain. (+50)
- Dolphins are washing up en masse in Cape Cod, and that chick from The Craft is not responsible. (+25)
- Thousands of people have died from a "mystery disease" in South America. (+100)
- Honeybees continue to abandon colonies. (+25)
- Just when you thought you could avoid yoga, it shows up in airports. (+5)
- The symptoms of Alzheimers were reversed in mice! (-50)
- New creepy-crawly amphibians without arms or legs were discovered. Ugly but awesome. (-10)
- There's a cat running for Senate. Finally, some good news in politics! (-25)
- Robot bees! They will save us all. (-100)
Perhaps those folks on Doomsday Preppers have the right idea.
Earlier: The January Apocalypse Index