You know what? Fuck it. I'm calling it. Everyone just do whatever you want. We're all going to die, we're all going to get cancer, and with a new study coming out every day about some other seemingly innocuous thing that's methodically dissolving your brain, I say we all find a hot tub somewhere and chill out.

Today's culprit? Eggs. Magical, wonderful, protein-packed, perfect little eggs. According to a new study, explicated here at The Atlantic, a lifetime of heavy egg-yolk consumption correlates with almost as much atherosclerosis (that's plaque in your arteries) as a lifetime of heavy smoking. Neat!


Now, to be fair, Americans eat a shit-ton of eggs. Brian Fung writes:

Last year, the average American consumed 247 eggs — over 40 percent more than the world per-capita average. Because egg yolks are high in cholesterol, eating whole eggs increases cholesterol, a known risk factor for coronary artery disease (CAD) and heart attacks.

Okay. 247 eggs is HELLA. A single whole egg contains over a third of a person's recommended daily cholesterol, and since, in our Man vs. Food Nation, feats of culinary endurance like the 12-egg omelette aren't even that weird, we're basically over-egging ourselves into an early mass grave. Yay! According to the study:

Aging was associated with a linear increase in arterial plaque after age 40, but smoking and egg consumption were each independently associated with an exponential increase in plaque. Egg consumption had two-thirds of the effect of smoking.


But don't worry, you guys—it's just the yolks. Egg whites, like all flavorless, borderline-irredeemable, food-like food substitutes, are still fine. Eat up. Sigh.

Study: Eggs Are Nearly as Bad for Your Arteries as Cigarettes [Atlantic]

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