"You Had Me Over To Your House Once. Yes, I Remembered Your Address."

Illustration for article titled "You Had Me Over To Your House Once. Yes, I Remembered Your Address."

Jenna, 29, met Theo, 31, at a convention. They got drunk, and had sex. And he cried — well, sobbed, if you want to get technical. Because it was "so beautiful." Was it possible she'd actually found someone who liked her TOO much? Not wanting to fall prey to the whole "falling for assholes" scam, she dutifully had sex with him again. And again he cried! And in an unusual bid to exert hegemony over her RAM, proceeded to commence a rigorous regimen of contacting her simultaneously via as many distinct modes of communication possible. She knew it was over the day he conveyed his fondness via text message, personal email, work email, instant message, Facebook wall post, Flickr comment and phone call within five short hours. She told him it was over the day he sent more than twenty text messages. And he cried — and began communicating her via mail. He sent a basket of blueberry jams and concert tickets to her work. Then he sent PHOTOS OF HER APARTMENT to her house. As you can imagine, Jenna has quite the crap arsenal, but these two specimens — sent within a day of one another after she did not reply — give you an idea. Is it commentary on my deficient movie knowledge or media misogyny that I can't think of a male pop cultural figure whose image does justice to this guy?

You had me over to your house once. Yes, I remembered your address. I don't see that as unusual. Didn't mean to freak you out. I was just trying to be friendly without being smothering

We may not have known each other over a long time period, but that doesn't mean we didn't get to know each other. I was very open and honest with you and really opened up my soul to you. Every time you reached out to me I thought we were really understanding each other. We have an amazing chemistry and connection and I don't understand why you are willing to just turn your back on this.

I just thought I was keeping the line of communication open in a relatively nice way. I guess sending you the tickets was too much. You know I'm a nice and generous person…but I guess finding that in someone it's odd to you. Sorry for trying to treat you well.

I really like you. I was looking forward to hanging out again some day down the road. I really felt a connection to you as I thought you also felt to me. This is really hurting me.

Best of luck to you. Honestly. I know you're going to do something amazing in this world. I look forward to reading about it.


And then, the post script.

The part that hurts the most is that you are treating me like some guy you don't know. I sent you those tickets as a nice gesture. I bought them because you were excited to see Matt. When I couldn't use them, you were the first person I thought of. I knew if I just offered them to you that you would most likely decline out of some inability to take a gift from me. I figured I would just send them to you, and once you had them, you would be pleasantly surprised and it would be too much of a hassle to give them back to me.

Instead, you take it as some weird stalker thing that I remember your address. "unsolicited mail" Really!!! That's what it is? I understand that I'm going through some emotional turmoil in my life and that I need to work on that stuff. I understand that it might be a little heavy for you to deal with. So I stopped laying that on you. I stopped chatting with you. Then I came across some random links that I thought you would be interested in and I sent them to you. I thought you would find my text messaging story kinda funny. But I thought all this under the idea that you still knew me. I don't understand how you can tell me that I'm a great guy, that you really like me…but then because I sent you some tickets for a show that I knew you were interested in…I become some freak. Some weirdo that is sending you unsolicited mail.

Why couldn't I be that thoughtful guy that wanted you to enjoy the show? Why couldn't I be that great guy you know and you hope he's doing okay?

I just don't get how we could have such great chemistry and have such a connection and then out of the blue, you don't know who I am, and you're freaked out about me.

At what point did you stop knowing who I am? Give me the benefit of the doubt and for one second remember that I was that nice guy that hung around your apartment while your friend was yelling at you. I was that guy that sat in the stairwell and held you and talked to you. I was that guy that you felt a really amazing connection to. I get that our timing was off and that I need to figure out my own shit…but please don't act like you don't know who I am. It just hurts so much.



Nothing wrong with a heartfelt crymax, ladies...

Seriously though. Oh dear. These kind of guys tend to be attracted to me, but I've fortunately had the foresight/callousness not to sleep with any of them.