You Don't Even Want to Know How Rich the Founder of Lululemon Is 

Next time you pull your overpriced leggings up over your butt, think of Lululemon founder Chip Wilson, who’s now reportedly one of the world’s 500 richest people on the basis on those flimsy scraps of fabric.

A 15 percent leap in Lululemon shares (following the release of apparently very good second-quarter results) has propelled him into the list of the world’s 500 richest people, reported Bloomberg Businessweek, citing their own rankings of the world’s most staggeringly wealthy: “The share surge added $311 million to Wilson’s fortune on Friday and a further $41 million on Tuesday to leave him with a $3.9 billion fortune, the 496th largest on the Bloomberg Billionaires Index.” Though of course his holding company did not confirm the numbers and these lists of rich people are more art than accounting science.

Not that this surge is actually anything he did! Bloomberg also pointed out: “He stepped down from the board in 2015, two years after resigning as chairman following an interview on Bloomberg Television in which he said Lululemon’s pants ‘don’t work for some women’s bodies.’ He apologized a week later.” He ran off at the mouth, departed in a flurry of controversy, and now he’s richer without even having had to work for it. Capitalism, ladies and gentlemen!

Congrats to Chip, and also to my fat ass, for rendering it impossible for me to contribute to his financial success.