You Can Narrate the Sex and the Single Girl Audiobook, If You’re Sassy Enough, Of Course

Illustration for article titled You Can Narrate the emSex and the Single Girl/em Audiobook, If You’re Sassy Enough, Of Course

Are you witty? Are you sassy? Do you have a voice that people will pay to listen to for 12 whole hours, probably while they're driving across the country but maybe also while they're sitting in Beltway rush hour traffic wondering whether it wouldn't be better, after all, to be a butterfly? If you answer and enthusiastic, "Fucking right I am/do!" to all of these questions, then you might consider applying to narrate the late Helen Gurely Brown's Sex and the Single Girl, which is finally getting the audiobook treatment. The 112,000-word book takes about 12 hours to narrate, an endeavor you can embark on online. If you're chosen, you'll get paid some unspecified amount of money (probably, I don't know, a bajillion dollars? That sounds right for audiobook narrators...) and you'll get join the ranks of such prolific narrators as Morgan Freeman, Sigourney Weaver and Johanna Parker of the Sookie Stackhouse-series fame.


Audition For ‘Sex & The Single Girl' Audiobook [Mediabistro]

Image via ajt/Shutterstock.

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I'm in. Where do I sign, and when do I get my freakin' yacht?! I'm uber qualified. I can, like, speak and stuff, and during my senior year at Bowdoin College I was in the Vagina Monologues and completely killed it during my recital of "My Angry Vagina". I mean, no one delivered "Vagina mother fuckers!" in a sassier, more neck-rolling-er way than me! Plus, my name just screams "Sassy, Sexy, Savvy MoFo". Oh, oh, and my mentor/ ex-professor, wrote Ms. Gurely Brown's biography, sooooo...I'm sure that qualifies me in some way, right? Right!

But on a serious note, it would be awesome to be the voice of a book that was a voice of a new generation of women, and ultimately, the voice that changed the tone of Cosmo forever.