Yo, Stop Fucking Up Cardi B's Chicken Caesar Salad

Years before Cardi B was a platinum-selling rapper, she was an avid and sensible administrator of advice and op-eds via her Instagram. Though she still reminds us of this acumen multiple times daily via @IAmCardiB, her latest Instavid really takes it back to why we loved her in the first place.

That’s because her OPINIONS are often CORRECT. Here more than ever, in one of the most important Instas—now removed because WE DON’T DESERVE IT—she has ever posted: What the hell is up with people trying to fuck up the chicken Caesar salad, an already perfect food? She asks, with the proper amount of gravity and despair: “Today I ordered a chicken Caesar salad, and it had raisins, mushrooms, and pear, with a poppyseed dressing. And it’s just like, why are we doing this?” INDEED! Mushrooms and raisins in the same salad sounds like an utter mishmash of textures and vibes, a clash of umami and sweetness. The whole point of a Caesar salad is that it is topped with Caesar dressing? Um, hello? Additionally, “I want restaurants to know,” says Cardi, “that Caesar salad dressing should not be tasting mayonnaise-ish. Why can’t you just keep the chicken Caesar salad regular? Like the Romans do it?”

I fucking agree? One hundred percent? Thank you Cardi, for shedding light on this matter that truly does not get enough attention because every salad remixologist and their aspiring chef brother is trying to be on some freaky bullshit, when the man named Bacardi Caesar Cardini—no relation to Cardi—already perfected this. Once again, our favorite rapper comes through with the sensible take.