Here's the good news. Colleges are taking Title IX seriously and asking that students be well-versed in substance abuse and sexual assault prevention. Here's the bad news: You may have to disclose how many people you've gone down on in the last three months.

Campus Reform reports that Clemson University, a public school in South Carolina asked students (and faculty! We care about your oral habits, too!) to complete a mandatory online training that included invasive and private questions that no one should have to answer in a university setting. Not even in a class on sex or substance abuse (not that people don't freely offer that, anyway.)

From Campus Reform:

In a campus-wide email, the South Carolina university announced that all students, faculty, and staff would be required to complete a mandatory, one-hour long Title IX training course by November 1.

"We believe you'll enjoy the assignment," the email, provided to Campus Reform, reads. "It is an engaging and informative online course, created with students for students. It will provide you with useful information regarding sexual violence and relationships. The course promotes a healthier and safer campus environment."

Ok, but why do other students care how much oral you've been getting/receiving/not doing anymore because someone left a grody hand print on your ceiling? And if all of this is confidential and meant to give students an idea of common misconceptions about college sex/substance behavior patterns, why are students being asked to log in with their school information? Even if you had to ask the questions (which: no), why not do it in a way that might be more confidential? Or not do it at all? How about not doing it at all?

It's excellent that Clemson wants students to be well-prepared to understand the school's policies regarding drugs and sexual assault, it's just their way of going about is clumsy and oafish, much like many students starting college, actually. And, to give them the benefit of the doubt, any time a large organization tries to implement a new system (or improve an existing one) there are bound to be some hiccups. And students are, of course, allowed to make up their answers, according to university officials. You don't have to be truthful abut the amount of sex you're having. (I would probably put down that I have oral like three times a week. That is when my partner and I discuss having sex but then realize we are too tired and watch TV instead.) (Also, this method has backfired on me in the past. I once told a doctor I was having sex three times a week because I was 18 and surprised by the question — reality: 0 times per week — and he sent me for an STD test instead of thumping my back in hearty congratulations.)

As of this morning, Clemson has decided that the training (which features ominous but undisclosed repercussions if not completed) will be suspended until they reevaluate the program, but students are probably going to be unhappy for a time to come. Dr. J. David Woodard, who teaches political science says that he doesn't intend to take the faculty version of this course if it demands the same information that students are required to give. And, he adds that some students are considering legal action.

"They're upset. They're paying this astronomical tuition to come here, and they're talking to their parents about these questions, and their parents are getting upset about having to spend this kind of money at Clemson where their students are being asked these kinds of questions," he [Woodard] said.

Roll Tide! Sorry, that is the only one I know. Go Tigers!

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