Yes, It Hurts When Women Accidentally Get Hit "Down There"

Illustration for article titled Yes, It Hurts When Women Accidentally Get Hit "Down There"

I once saw a male friend fall to ground after getting nailed in the crotch by a basketball. As he writhed on the ground in the fetal position, he hissed, "You can't possibly understand how much this hurts." Oh, really?


I'd forgotten about this incident until the other day, when my boyfriend accidentally hit me in the boob when I spun around too quickly as he leaned in for a hug. I instantly did the "I'm in pain" inhale and grabbed myself, and not in a sexy way, mind you, but in an "oh my god, the pain! The pain!" kind of way, and my poor befuddled boyfriend, still mid-hug, started yelling, "What happened?!" as I continued to feel myself up on the kitchen floor.

"It hurts when you get hit there," I whimpered, displaying my inability to choose a proper word to describe a part of my own anatomy. This is another problem: I hate using "breast" in everyday conversation, as it sounds very clinical (and, admittedly, using it still reminds me of breast cancer, which my grandmother passed away from), but the alternatives are all so stupid that I always feel like an idiot, no matter what term I use. I usually go with boob. Classy, I know. I'm working on it.

In any case, my boyfriend was not aware that it hurts to get hit in the boobular area. I suppose this is because he grew up without any sisters, and also because he doesn't go around punching people in the chest, but he was slightly stunned when I informed him that yes, it hurts, and that it also hurts for women when we accidentally get hit in the pubic area as well, even though men swear we can't possibly understand the pain of getting "kicked in the balls."

I'm sure many of you, like myself, have walked into the corner of your desk, or hit yourself with a door or drawer and nailed your pubic bone (again, not in the sexy way). It is ridiculously painful. It's not surprising, considering that your vaginal area, like your breasts, consists of multiple nerve endings, and when you take an accidental knock to either, it's fairly unpleasant, unless you're into that kind of thing. I did this at work a few months ago and had to half-dance into the staff bathroom to let out a silent scream. I'm pretty sure my co-worker, also a woman, saw it happen, as she gave me an understanding nod whilst trying not to laugh.

I'll admit that for a while, when I was a teenager, anyway, I wasn't sure if there was something wrong with me, as I noticed that it really did hurt whenever I got hit in either area (I am ridiculously clumsy) and none of my friends had ever talked about it, at least not on the level that the boys I went to school with did, who constantly bitched about the pain of getting hit in "the junk" while simultaneously challenging each other to idiotic ball kick-offs. But after a friend of mine took an errant pitch to the boob during a softball game (ouch), we all started sharing stories about various accidental boob injuries, and I realized it wasn't weird at all, just not talked about very often.

My friend may be right, in that I won't ever know what it's like to be kicked in the balls, but I can say that yes, getting accidentally knocked in the breast or the crotch hurts for women as well. I'm not trying to compare the pain or say that one is stronger than another, as that would be unfair and a bit absurd, I'm just pointing out that although we may not talk about it as often, it does hurt for women, and if nothing else, we should all try to be more careful out there. If you're going to end up getting to second base with yourself on the kitchen floor, let's try to make it for all the right reasons.

This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.

Natalie Dee." />



It doesn't matter how many comments are made about boobs and vagina pain. There is nothing that exists — including child birth (I assume) — that hurts more than a swift kick to the testicles. There is no comparable pain. The. End.