Whoa: Jon Stewart is leaving The Daily Show?!
According to sources, Stewart announced his retirement to audience members at the taping of tonight's show—where he may or may not be revealing the news to his at-home viewership.
There's no explanation for his departure yet—but Comedy Central confirmed Stewart's departure earlier this evening with a heartfelt, if bittersweet, tweet.
Every Woman Kim Kardashian is just like us, you guys: she has trouble peeing in her Spanx. "I always pee all over my Spanx, it's a disaster," she said. "They aren't crotchless enough!" She also wants everyone to stop asking her about her sex tape with Ray J; likes it "from the back"; and said if you want to know what she does for her job, you can "ask her bank account." [US Magazine]
Uma Thurman rolled up to the premiere of her new show, The Slap, looking...different. As in: Renee Zellwegger kind of different. It's hard to say if Uma just toyed around with a new makeup look or actually put on a new face, but it's worth noting that she was quoted in the New York Times around this time last year as saying she "needs a job." [Gossip Cop]
•Dr. Luke may or may not have subtweeted Beyoncé. [That Grape Juice]
•Ava Duvernay has some thoughts on her newfound acclaim and Oscar snub. [Deadline]
•Gigi Hadid wants Kendall Jenner to pose with her in Sports Illustrated; goes on dates to McDonald's. [E!]
thought it was funny did not think it was funny when Kanye West interrupted Beck's acceptance speech. [Just Jared]
•Ian Ziering is blogging. [People]
•Taylor Swift is suing the guy who taught her how to play guitar. [New York Daily News]
•A Bachelor contestant didn't win but it's cool because she got engaged to some other guy, anyway. [US Magazine]
Photos via AP and Getty