Screenshot via The Wolf of Wall Street/YouTube.

The Wall Street Journal is hiring a “mansions editor” (the listing technically reads “Editor, Mansion”) to oversee the publication’s coverage of high-end homes. This job sounds stupid, and I would love to be hired, thanks so much!

The job posting, which went up literally just as a staggering upwards redistribution scam was passed through Congress, involves overseeing “colorful features about people, places, society and culture as seen through the lens of homes.”

The full listing reads:

The Wall Street Journal is seeking an editor to oversee digital coverage and a weekly print section about high-end homes and the residential real-estate market. This person will lead a team of editors and reporters and must have several years experience writing and/or editing news and feature stories. The coverage combines complex finance (lawsuits, taxes, tangled transactions) and colorful features about people, places, society and culture as seen through the lens of homes.​

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Not to toot my own horn, but I happen to love looking at things through the lens of homes and think I may be the woman for the job, so no offense re: everything I just said above. Here are some things I know about mansions, just in case anyone at WSJ is interested in reaching out:

  • Kelly Clarkson has a big dead bear mounted on the wall of her Tennessee mansion.
  • Michael Jackson’s ghost lives in Mohamed Hadid’s Bel Air palace.
  • Mariah Carey has shiny peach-colored walls, according to a 2001 episode of Cribs, and I think about this all the time?
  • Ladies of London star Juli Montague, AKA the future Countess of Sandwich, has her hands full with Mapperton, the family’s 400-year-old estate!
  • Mansions sometimes make people horny, like for example Elizabeth Bennet, when she saw Pemberley for the first time while touring Darbyshire with her aunt and uncle.
  • If you sell enough teeth whiteners on Instagram after getting engaged on Bachelor in Paradise, you might be able to afford a very unattractive mansion in Kansas.
  • A bunch of exhausted firefighters worked hard to keep Rupert Murdoch’s $30 million Bel Air estate from burning down in the California wildfires, whose impact was exacerbated by a climate phenomenon he’s instructed half of America to ignore.
  • Most people don’t live in them.

Here’s my application video. My email can be found below!