Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Would You Listen To Abba With This Guy?

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Oh, John. Back in 2000, you were a Maverick, almost Tom Cruise-like, with your rakish smile and your willingness to buck the system that we all hated so much. You charmed us, led us to believe that you were different than all those other pilots in all those other bars who would try and fail to sing to our souls, or at least different than George W. Bush. And, like Tom Cruise isn't Maverick in real life but a crazy, Scientology-proselytizing, silent-birth having freak, so, too, have your days of playing The Maverick come to an end. We know the truth, and no karaoke can change that, not the Righteous Brother and not Abba. With Moe a little snowed under this morning, Spencer Attackerman Ackerman of the Washington Independent joins me to talk about what sucks about you. And there's kind of a lot.

ME: Ok, so, thanks again for filling in on ultra-short notice despite having a real job.

SPENCER: bffffft it beats reporting on afghanistan


ME: Want to trade? You can talk about pubic hair and I'll be all serious and shit.

SPENCER: well speaking of being all up in your snizz

my internet friends are buzzing about this RCP piece about why HRC's women voters should learn to love John McCain


A big sticking point for wavering Democrats will be McCain's position on reproductive rights. Clinton's backers are overwhelmingly pro-choice, and they'll want to know this: Would McCain stock the Supreme Court with foes of Roe v. Wade? The 1973 decision guarantees a right to abortion.

The answer is unclear but probably "no." While McCain has positioned himself as "pro-life" during this campaign, his statements over the years show considerable latitude on the issue.


so, ladies. had enough of those reproductive rights?

ME: That's bullshit. Like, a month ago he was telling Republicans that he wouldn't push this time to add anything to their anti-abortion plank, like how he's spent years trying to get an exception for the life of the mother, rape or incest. Apparently now that he wants to be President, it's cool .


SPENCER: i love the cynicism of that concession to mccain's stance on the issue

other politicians have "positions"

StraightTalk McSurge has "statements"

ME: And statements can't contradict each other, it's just what he was thinking at the time.

SPENCER: oh and let's not forget this awesome Weekly Standard piece from the height of the GOP primary

Arizona senator John McCain, currently a bit behind Rudy Giuliani as Republicans' favorite presidential choice for 2008, is far and away the most consistently anti-abortion of all the top contenders. During his 20 years in the Senate (plus four in the House), he has never failed to cast his vote in favor of whatever abortion restrictions are arguably permitted under Roe v. Wade: bans against partial-birth abortion, abortions on military bases, transporting minors across state lines to obtain abortions behind their parents' backs, and government funding for abortion both in the United States and abroad (all but the transporting-minors bill have become federal law). In addition, McCain has voted to confirm every "strict constructionist" judge (that is, disinclined to find, à la Roe, a right to abortion and related activities enshrined in the Constitution) appointed by the various Republican presidents who have served during his tenure, including Robert Bork for the Supreme Court.


i don't really believe that HRC's voters would actually vote for mccain

ME: But he's practically an enemy of the anti-abortion crowd because of McCain Feingold, so, it's cool.

SPENCER: the harriet "inadequate black male" christian lady from the DNC meeting? my guess is she's paid by Roger Stone

she sounds like my dead bubbe

no NYC jewess of that advanced age has "Christian" for a last name

ME: Didn't you see Ferraro's thing yesterday? Apparently, they're sophisticated enough to know that a Democratic Congress will keep their rights totally intact, so they don't care what you say.

SPENCER: i think we talked about it but i didn't see it

ME: Also, they'll just write in Hillary, that's, like, totes not a vote for McCain, just like Nader wasn't a vote for Bush at all.

SPENCER: you know who made that argument?

oh you beat me to it

ME: Occasionally, I can type fast and even accurately!

SPENCER: ps i got an email yesterday from a nader flack (they still exist!) saying nader was up to 6 percent in some poll

it can't POSSIBLY be true

ME: Yeah, Nader's been polling strangely well.

SPENCER: but seriously megan

let's discuss

how could any HRC voter actually vote for a pro-life republican

ME: They are really, really mad. I mean, let us be frank here, some people don't mind cutting off their noses to spite their faces. I come from a family of such women. I struggle every day to remember that what I want to get out of an argument or a situation is more important than acting on my raw emotions.

SPENCER: if what you're saying is correct

then we're really in a situation straight out of Nixonland

where the politics of resentment trumps everything

do you think we're at that point? or are we talking about such a small minority of HRC voters that to focus on them is to miss the point

ME: When doesn't the politics of resentment trump everything? How many people vote for a candidate and not just against the other guy? Witness all the overtures McCain's been making to disaffected HRC voters.

Do I think it's a small percentage? Polls say it's like 17% of her supporters, and 22% are saying they'll stay home.

Even if it's half of that, or ten percent of that, you and I just watched Recount, Gore lost, in the end, by some 350 votes.

SPENCER: ah but take a look at the characterization of such outreach

here's chief mccain douche michael goldfarb — formerly of the WS, now McCain's dep comm dir & blogger — enticing HRC voters with... McCain's love of ABBA.

now i am not a woman

but if i were condescended to like this, i'd be pretty fucking pissed

ME: Plus, is it universal for women to like ABBA?

SPENCER: i am on batting 1.000 on ABBA-agnostic-to-hostile women

ME: I think "Take a Chance On Me" is a crap song, though I did literally have a guy queue it up on my stereo in college to ask me to fuck him. It didn't work.

SPENCER: hahahaha you told me about that.

ME: But I will admit to a long-standing weakness for "Waterloo."

SPENCER: so if i called you a cunt in between verses of waterloo, you'd vote for me?

ME: The only person who gets to hang out with me during "Waterloo" is my best friend, JC, and only then if we're drunk. But, John McCain is no JC Johnson. Or any guy I would hang out with, let alone vote for.