World's Worst-Kept 'Secret' Coming To Your Living Room

Illustration for article titled World's Worst-Kept 'Secret' Coming To Your Living Room

Psst! We've got a secret: "Inspirational word-of-mouth phenomenon" The Secret will be coming to Video On Demand and Pay Per View. After a long day at work, you can come home, sit on your couch and start to "attract" some wealth. Awesome! It's also going to be available at hotel chains (unlike Jezebel!) Rhonda Byrne, creator and executive producer, says, "This is just the beginning, and there is so much more to share with people. The Secret was created to empower people, and everything I do is focused on just that — to bring as much joy as I can to every single human being." She doesn't mention Wallace D. Wattles. Anyways, we're about to go attract a snack.

The Message Of 'The Secret' Available Soon To 60 Million People Across The U.S. and Canada With 'The Secret' On Demand [PRNewswire]
Earlier: The Secret Behind 'The Secret': It Was Stupid Crap Even In 1910

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A few months ago I took one for the team and brought the DVD home, expecting it to be thoroughly, laughably absurd.

I was not disappointed.

The Secret is one of the most ridiculous "films" I've ever seen. The historical reenactments of men throughout the ages "discovering" the secret were my favorite part; desert people find tablets buried in the sand, and a Thomas Jefferson-like man inscribes the secret on a piece of parchment.

Then there are the "experts" who tout the efficacy of the Secret, my favorite of whom is the fellow who had only the word "visionary" listed after his name.

It is heartwarming, though, when the universe finally gives the little boy the bicycle he's been visualizing.