World's Least Creative Russian Politician Calls Madonna a Whore

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Like she's never heard that before. Please. Try harder. Russian deputy premier Dmitry Rogozin—apparently not a Pussy Riot fan—had some less than friendly words for our gal Madge. "Every former w. wants to give lectures on morality when she grows old," he tweeted. "Especially during foreign tours." Apparently in Russian twit-language, "w." means THE WHORE-WORD (so much learning today!). Rogozin also added, "Either take off your cross or put on your knickers." Ooooohhh, burn or whatever. Madonna's spokeswoman, who is apparently fucking hilarious, responded: "Maybe he and Elton can form a Madonna fan club." Zing! I love it. [CBS]


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Lindsay Lohan went totally gorilla all over Clint Eastwood's daughter Francesca's 19th birthday party. According to a bystander:

"Lindsay came over and started screaming that Francesca should leave," a source tells Us Weekly. "She was yelling 'I'm a star, she's a nobody, get her out of here!' One poor guy came over and tried to calm [Lindsay] down and she acted aggressively. At that point the security told her to leave and it was totally embarrassing."

Then Lohan and her friends snuck up behind Eastwood and cut away the back part of her dress so that all the boys from Camp Thunderhead saw her bloomers!!! How vile! When reached for comment, Francesca said she's "not sure what exactly sparked Lindsay's outburst ... I still had an amazing birthday...Parent Trap is still my favorite movie." Hayley Mills would never pull this kind of shit. Ugh, Lindsay, no. [Yahoo!]

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The Insane Clown Posse would like you to please note that "The FBI is wrong—Juggalos are NOT A GANG!" (In other news, he's also NOT AN ALIEN. He's a ghost, and he writes to us.) Quoth Shaggy 2 Dope:

"We are hearing too many stories from our fans about the trouble [being on the FBI list is] causing them. Just because you like a music group, doesn't make you a criminal." The other ICP member, Violent J, added, "We're not attacking the FBI, but they got this wrong. The Juggalos are not a gang, and that needs to be fixed."


Yeah. You're right. Juggalos are totally awesome and do awesome stuff all the time, just like any other group of music enthusiasts. I'll never forget that time all those Dave Matthews fans got together and bludgeoned that transient. Ah, summer. [TMZ]

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Um, oh yeah—remember how Michael Jackson's kids also have that mom!?!? Well Debbie Rowe is back 4 the attack! Or, rather, 4 the benign acquiescence. She's that lady who wove the Jackson kids out of her womb tissues and some mystery sperm and then threw them at MJ and was all, "NO BACKS!" And she's weighed in on the recent custody kerfuffle that granted joint guardianship to Grandma Katherine and Cousin T.J. Rowe says she does "not object to the relief sought by Tito Joe Jackson and by Katherine Jackson," but she will "continue to monitor the situation to ensure the best interests of her children are met" and would "seek court intervention" if the arrangement between Tito and Katherine became "untenable, unstable or unsafe or in any way contrary to the best interest of the children." Yokey dokey! As long as somebody's keeping an eye on this slow-motion air disaster! [E!]

  • Here's Naomi Watts all lookin' like Princess Di and such. [Us]
  • How does Kate Beckinsale maintain her "ageless" bod? BLOOD MAGIC! Wait, no, just yoga. [Us]
  • Ryan Lochte got drunk at Guy Ritchie's pub and was "accosted" by several women—but like the caliente kind of accosted!!! [Radar]
  • Adam Levine went to Gelson's in West Hollywood for ice cream. Quick! Run over there and see if you can huff any of his scent! [JustJared]
  • Here's an overview of the Catching Fire cast so far. [EW]
  • Some people want Ryan Lochte to be the new Bachelor. [ONTD]
  • Okay, so it turns out that that picture of Taylor Swift introducing Conor Kennedy to her parents was actually a picture of Swift eating dinner with her brother. But that doesn't mean she didn't take Conor home to meet the 'rents. She did take him to Nashville, where they live. (It also does not mean that she is dating her brother. Everyone caught up?) Anyhoo all this flim-flam is missing the entire point here, which is that Taylor Swift is sooooooo pretty, you guys! I know I should care about real stuff instead, like unemployment or whales, but seriously she's so pretty. [People]
  • Arty Farty threw a party. [Express]
  • Bob Marley's daughter got to handle Usain Bolt's Michael Johnson. And she loved it! [Express]


Professor Pink

Eva: Did you hear that? They called me a whore! They actually called me a whore!

Italian Admiral: But, Señora Perón, it's an easy mistake. I'm still called an admiral, though I gave up the sea long ago.