Women Reach Peak Nudity-Happiness at Age 34

Women are most at peace with their naked bodies when they’re 34 years old, the magical age when, after 20 years of being overly self-critical, they finally realize how great they really are—just in time for the curtain call of the real shit show that is aging.

According to a study by a UK-based skin and body care firm women are “happiest” with their birthday suits 34. Experts attribute this to a number of different factors, like how, by their early 30s, most women have finally figured out which diet and exercise regimens work for them; or that, by that age, women have settled into long-term, loving relationships that boost their confidence “inside and out.”

What they didn’t mention is that, by 34, many women have had a baby, meaning that they’ve laid eyes on their own postpartum bodies. Once you’ve bounced back from that—even if not to your complete pre-pregnancy glory—you’re just kind of grateful to recognize yourself, or fit back into most of your old clothes. It’s like, well, this is at least better than that.

But before you go getting too confident at 34, realize that you’ve already reached your peak beauty at 30. Oh, and you’re going to reach your peak ugly today at 3:30 pm. Good luck and godspeed.