Woman Is Run Over By Three Trains, Walks Away Like Nothing Happened

On Sunday morning, 22-year-old Mary Downey was run over by three trains when she stumbled onto the tracks at Times Square station. She is already back at home recovering, her only injury a broken shoulder.

The most miraculous thing about Downey’s ordeal, other than the fact that she was able to avoid being hit by three multi-car trains, is that her broken shoulder is the result of her fall and not a train hitting her. Somehow, Downey was able to position herself between the tracks in such a way that one, then two, then three trains rolled right over her, causing absolutely no damage to her body, although likely a great deal of damage to her mental state.

“She was lucky enough to have, it looks like to us, rolled to the platform and was in between the platform and the train when the train came into the station,” said FDNY Battalion Chief Mike Meyers.

Downey lay in the tiny space between the platform and the tracks until a conductor mistook her hand waving for a piece of garbage. As the train came closer, the conductor realized that there was a human lying on the tracks, but could only stop the train after the third car had rolled over Downey. Authorities were quickly called and everyone was shocked to learn that Downey was alive and, all things considered, doing quite well.

Unnamed sources at Bellevue Hospital state that Downey is recovering nicely and The New York Post reports that she’s already back home, probably high on painkillers and swearing to never drink again.