Wish Feet Had Vaginas For Banging? Your Dreams Have Finally Come true!

For all those people out there who feel a fleshlight just isn't enough, there's now a Vajankle, which, yes, is exactly what it sounds like: a replica of a dismembered foot with a vagina stuffed right up into the ankle. It's an art piece, it's a fuck toy, it's very very conspicuous.

I'd like to imagine that the people who buy this product just want to have a conversation piece. They've set out their larger-than-life fleshlights on the kitchen table ("oh, no! Not that one! It won't help you light your way in the basement!") and are tired of people politely ignoring them. But who's going to ignore a dismembered foot, I ask you? Who's going to just move it aside and not question why there's a giant vagina sticking out of it? I certainly wouldn't, because I'm a human being with curiosities and also I would need to know that it was 100 percent fake and whoever owns one isn't actually breeding ankle-vag hybrids in their basement. (I watch a lot of crime TV.)

The Metro describes these sexcoutrements as such:

Sin boutique – the website selling them – explains: 'These quirky feet have a vagina built right in at the ankle!'

They go on: 'The vajankle is in the left foot only. You can order the vajankle independently, or as a pair with the standard right foot.'

So what do you do with the other foot? Like just rub it all over yourself? it seems like a copout to insert a vagina into one and then kind of just forget about the other. And what about a foot with an anus or a mouth? If I'm paying $179 for this marital aid (and I'm not, because I couldn't expense it), I'm certainly expecting more. Still, if dismemebered feet are your thing, then 2015 is already looking up for you!


Both french manicure and cherry nail polish are available.

Images via Sin

Share This Story