Wisconsin Is America's Drunkest State (We're #1! We're #1!)

Is Wisconsin America’s drunkest state? Is Madeleine Davies, one of Jezebel’s multiple Wisconsin-born writers, drunk right now? The answer to both questions is a resounding yes!

A survey—recently posted to detox.net—charted the United States’ drinking habits from 2011-2013 and ranked which state has the highest percentage of drinkers, the highest percentage of heavy drinkers, and the highest percentage of binge drinkers. Wisconsin ranked first in each and every category (with Washington, D.C. always trailing as a close second).

According to the survey, 65.33% of Wisconsin adults have had a drink in the 30 days (Utah is the lowest at 29.73%), 8.7% of Wisconsinites have two or more drinks a day (Tennessee ranks at 3.43%), and 24% of Wisconsin residents report to drinking more than 4 or 5 drinks on one occasion. The survey also determined that Northerners drink more than Southerners and that older people drink more frequently, but consume less alcohol, than the youths.

So why do people from Wisconsin drink so damn much? Well, the winters are long and painful, people build fully operational bars into their houses, and Scott Walker is governor. Pour me another, barkeep!