Apple Will Engrave 'Penis' on Your iPad but Not 'Vagina' or 'Clit'

Illustration for article titled Apple Will Engrave Penis on Your iPad but Not Vagina or Clit

Today in absolutely fucking absurd and transparent gender bias rooted in the widespread male terror of women's mysterious, swampy genitals, Apple apparently refuses to engrave "vagina" or "clit" on anyone's iPad! You can, however, get "penis" or "dick" permanently etched into your electronics with no trouble whatsoever. KOOL GYNOPHOBIA, BROS.


Justyn Hintze at JustLust discovered this double-standard when she tried to have song lyrics that include the word "clit" engraved on her iPad:

In times of uncertainty, I have a habit of turning to Alix Olson, and her lyrics. I pulled up the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, Witches, and found the perfect line to engrave on my iPad:

"I'll give myself a lube job,
shake my broomstick til my clit throbs"

Feminist, sex-positive, and it will make me smile. Every. single. time.

I type it in, and to my surprise, I'm supposed to give good, ole Apple a call to talk about my "inappropriate language," presumably for my use of the anatomical abbreviation, clit.


When she got an Apple representative on the phone, the woman said she didn't know anything about an anti-clit policy, but was similarly blocked from entering the term on her end. Strangely enough, though, the words "dick" and "penis" were accepted without a hitch.

I tried penis…

…Only to have Apple be satisfied with my engraving now that it no longer included the word "clit." Just to test my theory one step further, I entered the word "vagina" where I'd written "penis" previously. Once again, I received a message telling me I'd used "inappropriate language" and that my engraving couldn't be submitted without a phone call to Apple. My hypothesis was correct: the reason I cannot use the word clit is because Apple is so entrenched with sexism and misogyny, and frankly, is terrified of women's bodies and women's pleasure.

Just a reminder: Apple also refuses to recognize when you're typing the word "vagina" into your iPhone.

And they say women are hysterical.

Image of Bianca Jagger making the exact same face I'm making right now via Getty.

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Why would apple give a flying fuck what you want to put on your iPad if you are willing to pay for it? For anyone wondering, cunt and twat are out too. Time for a new name for our vags ladies. BTW Vag works. So does muff.