Why Marrying A Rich Old Dude Who Won't Fuck Will Not Solve Your Problems

Meet Tricia Walsh-Smith. She's a playwright, but I guess the tragedy is that this YouTube video, in which she asks the assistant of her greedy hateful rich theater-owning old ex-husband who never wanted to fuck (even though she was 25 years younger than him!) what she thinks she should do with the Viagra and condoms she found, will probably go down in "History" as her sole contribution to the universe. Or is it a tragedy? No of course not, there's no such thing as tragedy. Or no, actually...

The real tragedy is believing in things like dignity and pride and ego — and while we're at it, prenuptial agreements! — and YouTube is the just the new way people who don't believe in pride and ego air out the wounds to their pride and ego in a way too public and self-destructive for anyone to accuse them of having any pride or ego, and also, go about finding a lawyer who will screw the fuck out of that old fuck.


Tricia Walsh-Smith is somewhat sympathetic. She's hit bottom before — addiction (she wrote a critically-acclaimed play about it) — and she seems levelheaded here even though you're pretty sure she's out of her mind. On the other hand, if she never fucked her husband throughout their nine year marriage I'm thinking this wasn't exactly true love but more like a "lifestyle choice" she made that she is now simply enraged at herself for making because she could have been fucking...well, whoever fucks pretty middle-aged recovering alcoholic playwrights. And the fact that she's pissed at herself for making that choice is why she made this video, along with capturing the attention of high-profile divorce attorneys who might take her on because she has rendered herself high-profile with her honest, uncalculated — of maybe calculatedly uncalculated?? — ode to her grief and rage online. Yeah, that's it; she hates herself, but she hates him more!

Humiliated By YouTube [Daily Mail]
Broadway Wife Wants Divorce By YouTube [CBS News]
Is Revenge Now A Dish Best Served Online? [Telegraph]
The Misery Broker [New Yorker] (It's a profile of divorce attorney Raoul Felder, who is now representing Tricia Walsh-Smith, ha ha ha I love the universe.)

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Yes, everyone who chooses this life for themselves really does look this pathetic to everyone around them.