• The dolphin calf born to a deaf mother five days ago died earlier this afternoon as a result of respiratory problems. [CNN]
  • Do not fuck with Church of England. And definitely do not put any of their cathedrals in your violent video games, yo. [BBC]
  • Want to ensure you'll win custody of your children? Have them videotape you wasted. Nothing says "not dangerous to self or others" like hi-def drunkenness. Congrats, David Hasselhoff! [CNN]
  • The Clintons have done this whole running-for-president thing before. That's why they know to liquidate their assets NOW. [CNN]
  • Courtney Love is trying to quit smoking. 2 out of 3 Jezebel editors scoff. [People.com]
  • Stephen Hawking is writing a book for middle-schoolers. We'll probably understand a little over half of it. [USA Today]
  • A nursing home for dogs with puppies to keep the old dogs feeling youn? Only in Japan. [CNN]
  • 1 U.S. casualty identified today. [DoD]

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