Whole Foods CEOs: Ugh, Fine We Overcharged You, OK? Happy?

Whole Foods co-CEOs Walter Robb and John Mackey have “straight-up” apologized for their “small… mistake” of overcharging their customers in a new awkward corporate video. Do you believe them?

In June, Whole Check (yes, you read that nickname correctly) was investigated by the Department of Consumer Affairs and found to have over-charged their customers at nearly all of their New York City locations. This has been a pattern with the grocery chain in the Big Apple since 2010 and aligns with similar settlement the company recently paid in California for price-gouging.

In Wednesday’s video, Whole Check’s leaders, one of whom compared the spread of unions to herpes, try to assuage consumer fear that their main goal is to put their hand in your purse and keep it there.

Here are the takeaways from their speech:

– They’re retraining Whole Check workers to ring items up properly.

– They’re hiring an independent auditor to make sure they don’t overcharge consumers, again.

– They’re reporting back in 45 days to their customers with their findings to hold themselves accountable.

– Customers can ask if there’s a mistake in the pricing of their groceries, if there is and it’s “not in your favor, we promise to give you that item for free,” says Mackey.

– You can personally yell at Walter and John via email at [email protected] with questions like ‘Why the fuck are your cherries $12 A POUND?’ and other universal mysteries.

It’s interesting that the Whole Check bosses see their price-gouging as so “small” they had to release a YouTube video to their customers. It seems like their public relations strategy says the opposite, that this whole mess is a pretty big deal. For the DCA’s part, according to the Daily News, they’re just glad Whole Check is taking some responsibility and say their department will keep an eye on them.