Who Is Worse? Paul Janka Or Mitt Romney?

I'm revising my policy on Paul Janka. When I saw him on the Today show the other day I thought he was merely the latest incarnation of a stock character, a product of current society's insatiable need to have a new unabashed asshole - douche jour — to crucify publicly for all the sins committed by the sundry assholes in our past. Oh, but there is something very special about him, as we begin to see from some Radar procured excerpts of his book proposal:

Tell the bartender how it is— she works for you for the two hours or so you'll be there. I tell them I don't drink but that I am meeting a lady, and that I don't want her to feel uncomfortable so could they please bring me seltzer waters, in a high-ball glass, with a lime. And call it a Tom Collins. Or a Gin and Tonic if you prefer. Never leave your drink, and don't let the girl sip it— she will freak out, I guarantee you. If you go to the bathroom, take it with you.


Strategic! So anyway, here's where it gets interesting. Doesn't he kind of remind you of Mitt Romney? The spookily war-ravaged looking eyes, the strong jawline, the Harvard degree, the obsession with data, the suspicious teetotaling.

Both dudes are the same, it's just the generation and geopolitical situation that have changed. Romney's a typical psychocapitalist Boomer hawk, and Janka is one of those predators whose victims don't really care because he's just sort of an autistic version of all the other date rapists they've fallen for. One wants to conquer the world, the other will settle for the world of pussy...


But it's only really depressing if either one wins.

The six-minute ride from my favorite lounge to my apartment is a crucial testing period. If I have my hand in her panties and her mouth is around my cock, she passes the test. Everyone's happy. That isn't often the case. More usually, they're coming back to your place, a bit tipsy, and now would be a good time to test the physical boundaries a bit. Kissing, breast and crotch action is explored. Also, their willingness to put their hands on my alerted member is usually telling.


Is Paul Janka A Wee Bit Rapey? [Radar]

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