White Wine Drinkers Pour the Biggest Glasses of Wine

A new study from Iowa State University has made a very important discovery, one that might have helped Kiki Cohen realize sooner that she was pouring herself way too much chardonnay: white wine drinkers tend to drink more than their purple-toothed counterparts.

The study, published in the Journal of Substance Use & Misuse, found that when people poured white wine into a clear glass, they tended to pour nine percent more wine than people who poured red wine into a clear glass. When the glass was especially wide, white wine drinkers poured twelve percent more wine. Any guesses why?

Dr. Doug “Name Thief” Walker explained that people are just, like, different, man. One person’s glass of wine is another person’s two glasses of wine. Oh yeah, also, white wine has less contrast than red wine to a clear glass, meaning than a completely thrashed Kiki Cohen will just pour and pour until her cup runneth over with Kendall Jackson.

If you ask someone how much they drink and they report it in a number of servings, for a self-pour that’s just not telling the whole story.

One person’s two is totally different than another person’s two. Participants in the study were asked to pour the same amount at each setting, but they just couldn’t tell the difference.

Thanks, science. You’ve helped white wine drinkers everywhere realize that they’re probably way drunker than they thought.