Which Reality Show Stereotype Are You?

Illustration for article titled Which Reality Show Stereotype Are You?

Kristin Cavallari's return to The Hills is being celebrated with a campaign declaring that "The Bitch Is Back." But aside from "the bitch," there are several other standard "reality" show characters out there. Which one are you? Let's find out!

Question 1: What's Your Idea Of The Perfect First Date?

  • a. You, baby! Let's get it started! Is my boyfriend Devin going to see this, though? Devin! I love you! This means nothing, I swear! NOTHING!
  • b. Anyone lucky enough to date me is going to have a perfect first date, period.
  • c. Well, he would have to be like, really cute? And like, we would go to somewhere like, nice? Um, and like, it would be romantic?
  • d. I am an ear of corn.
  • e. Whatever, you know? I just go with things, man. If love happens, it happens, but I can't force it, you know? It's just whatever the energy of the universe wants, bro, you know? Whatever the vibe happens to be. You can read more about it in next month's Playboy magazine.
  • f. Something really simple and sweet. I don't ask for much. Just good times with good people.

Question 2: What Is Your Best Quality?

  • a. I can drink anyone under the table! Want to see?
  • b. Why don't you ask your boyfriend? He seemed to enjoy several of my qualities last night.
  • c. Um...I like a lot of different things? Like, um...I like unicorns? And once, I saw Lindsay Lohan at a party and I was like, "Oh my god, you're Lindsay Lohan!" and she was like, "Yeah, I am." And so like...I can identify people, you know? Like, that's pretty good, I think?
  • d. I am an ear of corn.
  • e. I mean, you know, what can I say? I know how to get shit done, bro. I haven't had any complaints, in any areas, if you know what I'm saying. That was a sexual innuendo. Just wanted to make sure you picked that up. Are you filming on the left? Film on the right, bro. You know my right is my better side. Although both sides look good in my upcoming photo shoot for People magazine.
  • f. I'm a good friend, or at least I try to be. I could always improve, I guess.

Question 3: Who Is Your Role Model?

  • a. Megan Fox!! She is so hot and crazy!!! I am too! SPRING BREAK! OWW!
  • b. Get me a mirror and I'll show you, asshole.
  • c. Rolls? Like...for bread? You can be a model for bread?
  • d. I am an ear of corn.
  • e. Jesus, who put me on this earth to be great. I actually discuss this in next week's issue of Star. You should buy a copy, bro. Buy one for your friends, too. It's gonna change your life, man.
  • f. My parents. They have a really great marriage and they've always taught me that it's love and laughter that are important, not material things.

Question 4: What Is Your Typical Saturday Night Like?

  • a. If I remember it, it wasn't any good!
  • b. You have to ask because you'll never be invited. That's so sad for you! Maybe you should go back to Nebraska or wherever it is you came from. I hear the cows on the farm are always looking for new friends.
  • c. Um...Saturday is the day that comes after the day you stop working but only at night because like, you work during the day, but then like, the weekend technically starts at night, right? Why is it called Saturday? Did someone get sat on? Satted on? How do you say it?
  • d. I am an ear of corn.
  • e. I'd walk you through it bro, but it's too much for you to handle. Usually it just involves me and my beautiful girl being the most famous people alive, trying to get the haters out of our way. We can't help it if everyone wants to be like us. I mean, we're perfect, you know?
  • f. I typically go out to dinner with some good friends and then maybe out dancing or for a few drinks. Sometimes if there's a good band in town, we'll go to a show. No big deal.

Question 5: Where Do You See Yourself In 10 Years?

  • a. Famous, gorgeous, and loving life! And I want to give a shout out to my fellow Coyotes, my man Devin who I love so so much, no matter what they say, baby! Now who wants to do some shots?!
  • b. Somewhere you'll never be. I'd say something like, "But I'll never forget you," except, well, I totally will.
  • c. Ten is five plus five!
  • d. I hope to be the head of an international research company. Also, I will still be an ear of corn.
  • e. Just turn on your television, baby, and I'll be there, no doubt!
  • f. Happy. That's the most important thing, right?

Stay tuned for the results!

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I don't watch enough reality TV to know about a) (who's Devin?), but I DO watch the Hills! And my breakdown from that show alone would be: b) Kristen c) Stephanie d) Justin Bobby e) Spencer f) Lauren