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When Is A Bad Tattoo A Dealbreaker?

Illustration for article titled When Is A Bad Tattoo A Dealbreaker?

Latin scholars are engaged in a vigorous debate over whether Ashley Alexandra Dupre's "Tutela Valui" tattoo, spotted last weekend when the ex-Spitzer hooker made a rare appearance on the secluded Jersey Shore, is so dumb as to be a tattoo dealbreaker. "One California professor translated it as 'I have been highly proficient in support' - which he further simplifies to 'I have been an expert escort,'" notes the Daily News. Which brings me to the obvious but as yet undiscussed here topic of love and tattoos. As in: when is a tattoo so bad you have to reeeeally like someone to get over it? July's Marie Claire features a story by a woman who met a dude whose body art was almost a bonerkiller. ("It had something to do with his interest in the medieval artist Hieronymus Bosch. And there was a mention of total respect for the tattoo artist. Oh, and, These designs are exactly what brain synapses look like...") As you might expect, the writer gets over it, because there are only a handful of tattoo types you can really use as an excuse to dump someone in this town, and they are, according to my roommate, who spent 11 years living in Philly where getting tattooed is really one of the only things to actually do.


1. tribal

2. Celtic

3. Confederate flags, etc.

4. Irredeemably awful band logos.

Here are some tattoos, meanwhile, that we have tolerated fucking:

1. Giant Black Flag logo

2. Giant Black Flag logo in the shape of Pennsylvania with an orange star marking Philadelphia.

3. crudely drawn Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany's

4. very-crudely drawn "Broken" written on chest [Exhibits 2-4 on same person]

5. Spider (symbolizing Spiderman)

6. "If found, call 215-[Phone number]


And actually we don't remember the rest. There are too many.

Also my brother has a tattoo on his calf that he designed himself that is apparently Tolkien-inspired.

It's Latin To Them [New York Daily News]

Is Love Skin Deep? [Marie Claire]

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A Small Turnip

I'm a pretty buttoned-up, good-girl WASP, but I'd secretly love to have the guts to get something really badass and fantastic done. The thing is, though, that I have obscenely pale skin, and I have a suspicion that tattoos only look really spectacular on warmer-toned skin.

Dark ink on my canvas is probably just going to look cadaverous. And that's not the effect I'd be aiming for.

But I can have pretend tattoos, right? I have lots of pretend things, like pretend boyfriends and careers and houses and stuff, so why not pretend tattoos? I have a rich imaginitive life, me. It keeps me happy, if only tenuously connected to reality.