I have great news for all you cool and interesting people in the market for a fashionable rainstick under $100. Free People has begun selling them for $68! Though some people believe the sticks were invented by the Aztecs to summon rainstorms by simulating their sounds, others believe they were invented for “impromptu jam sessions.”
Though we may never know the true purpose of rainsticks, the Jezebel staff managed to think of a few ways to use them.
- Directing auto traffic.
- Directing airplane traffic.
- Performing baton routines.
- Pointing at things on high shelves at the grocery store and saying things like, “Sir, would you mind grabbing me the brown rice from up there?”
- Inserting into your b.
- Inserting into your v.
- Crafting it into a gravity bong.
- Propping open a window.
- Breaking a window.
- Buying two and using them as musical stilts.
- Buying thousands and constructing a musical cabin.
- Using it as a very narrow stool.
- Planting it in the salted earth of your front yard so people think a tree stump grew there.
- Making fake static while on the phone with a friend so you can hang up and claim the signal was bad.
- Returning, and spending $68 on something else.
- Pairing with this and losing all your friends.