What Time Are the 93rd Academy Awards?

Oh, you want to know what time the 93rd Academy Awards are? The fucking Oscars, as they say?? Hmm?? Hmmm???? Yeah. I bet you do. You’re just like the rest of them, always asking “What time are the Oscars?” and not “How are the Oscars?” and by “the Oscars” I mean me. I’m doing OK, not that you asked. It’s been a tough year. I had a breakup, I got laid off—but you know what? I’m still here! I’m still standing! I didn’t have time to watch any fucking movies except Promising Young Woman, and that was terrible. So, yeah! I don’t know which ones are gonna win! I don’t know which ones are gonna be snubbed! I don’t even know if I’m ever gonna get my second or third stimulus checks or if I’m gonna die alone!! But to answer your question, 8 p.m. EST.