What the Frick Is This, Pucci?

Let’s be honest—expectations are not that high when it comes to Emilio Pucci, or Milan Fashion Week in general. But I have to say I was still pretty shocked when this orange Cousin It marched down the runway, maybe because Pucci is an establishment brand that is clearly trying to appear innovative and failing miserably. Under what circumstances would I wear this hat?

1. If I were invisible, like that guy in that movie where he gets almost killed and thrown in a ditch and his soul runs around and tries to get everyone’s attention but only the old dying people can see him, and then some girl dies on top of him and he comes back to life.
2. If I was covered in burns or lost my lips in some accident, but I was TIRED of HIDING from the WORLD and wanted to glide dramatically around the East Village.
3. If my mom designed it, and gave it to me as a gift, and my dad pulled me aside and whispered that if I didn’t wear it just for a bit she’d be really, really upset.
4. If I needed to protect myself from the sun but for some reason every single other hat in the world was taken.

There’s a mint green one, too, which I feel approximately the same about (here’s a video of the whole show):

Can someone explain this to me?