So, not to rain on anyone's umbrella or anything, but have you ever noticed? Rihanna = not that pretty! (Maybe it's the haircut?) There, I've said it. I know it's against the rules here, but sometimes you gotta break the rules, even if you just made them up on Monday, and anyway: who cares? She's a singer. Why is she supposed to be some sort of style icon? Because some stylist told her to wear a gold lame American Apparel bikini under her dress as a bra because that's what they're doing right now? Anyway, moving on, this week we had help from Anonymous Supermodel Tatiana, who commended Elle for finding a model, "Valentine," without visible back ribs and noticed that the magazine seems to enjoy sticking its regular fad diet story line in the same place between the E and the L. What does it all mean? Fuck if we know. We rewrite the cover lines so you don't have to feel guilty sticking to Neverland on the beach this month!