What The Cast Of 'The Hills' Does After They Leave Third Period

Illustration for article titled What The Cast Of 'The Hills' Does After They Leave Third Period

There are lots of things to hate about The Hills, namely that it is not dead. For starters, we hate that all the cast members recite their lines with the same profound sense of purpose that the popular seniors used to employ when giving, like, an oral presentation? On, like, the Reformation? (Which granted universal suffrage to African-Americans? Or wait, um, no? Can I, like, get a hall pass?)

More to the point, we hate the sense that this oral presentation is all we're getting out of the cast members, and that we're totally not invited to the parking lot to get baked with them in the car while listening to Jack Johnson, or any of their Beach Week parties, or anything, you know, real.

Thankfully, LA Weekly's hater-in-chief Nikki Finke hates everything we hate — but even more-so — and today she uses her awesome analytic powers to explain what goes on after these popular kids skip class: They make deals to promote shit to impressionable young unpopular kids (including those gross headbands!) And, says Finke, even worse:

...now Brody may be getting his own faked Reality TV show about his love life, courtesy of MTV. ("I wanna meet a girl who has nothing to do with L.A., a nice, normal, real girl. That's gonna be a component of our new MTV show—me leaving L.A. to meet a normal girl," Brody has claimed.)

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Ugh. Prepare to have your belief in the whole universal-suffrage thing shaken.

Dateline Hollywood Daily: The Hills A Cesspool of Self-Promotion [LA Weekly]

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