What Recession? Teen Vogue Readers Need An Allowance

Recession, schmesmession! The February issue of Teen Vogue encourages you to drop oodles of cash on shredded jeans and canvas tote bags. Get Mommy’s credit card: Your piddling babysitting dough won’t be enough.

It costs a fortune to look like a neglectarino urchin from the (stylish) streets. For instance: Check out the shredded, distressed and holey jeans on the far right. They’re $325.

Poor thing spent so much on her $428 dress and $321 t-shirt that she can’t afford to pay someone to iron her ensemble for her. Hard times!

This young lady’s blazer is Marc Jacobs, of course. Mommy and Daddy will have to pay $388 for that. The ruffled top is $218; the shorts, with strings hanging from them, that certain parents would be loathe to allow a well-bred daughter to wear in public, cost $168.

“Upgrade your bookbag,” the cover suggests. The first proposal? This canvas tote by Coach, at $348.

The coach bag too plain? Try this bright and happy cotton bag at the bargain-basement price of $263.

Finally, something (almost) affordable: This Harajuku Lovers canvas tote only looks like a quilted Chanel bag, therefore costs $98. Maybe you can work overtime at the DQ?