What Magic Will They Find in Lindsay Lohan's Storage Locker?

Illustration for article titled What Magic Will They Find in Lindsay Lohan's Storage Locker?

Oh, Lindsay. Girl, I love you, but if you really want to make this comeback thing happen (and I want that for you), you've got got got to start paying your bills! There's a reason that you don't hear stories about thriving actresses like Emma Stone or Kristen Stewart getting sued by jewelers or restaurant owners and that's because they pick up the tab or have the tab picked up for them. Either way, the tab is being picked up by someone and they are not being brought to court every other week or having their things embarrassingly put up for auction because they forgot to pay the bill on their storage locker — sort of like what's reportedly happening to Lindz right now.


According to "sources close to Lindsay" (Herbie from Herbie Fully Loaded), LiLo has fallen about $16K behind in monthly payments for a storage unit, which has led to the storage rental company seizing possession of her belongings until she can pay the debt in full. If they do not receive payment by the end of the month, the contents of Lohan's unit will be put to auction.

There's no word as to what items could be made available for purchase in the event that ol' Double-L is unable to get the money together in time, but — hey — we're really good at guessing, so why don't we speculate as to what might be hitting the auction block come the new year?

  • Samantha Ronson's fedora collection
  • A GED certificate and college diploma, both gotten secretly, shamefully behind her parents' backs
  • A lengthy written confession to the Black Dahlia murder
  • Daenerys Targaryen's missing dragons
  • 10 cases of White Diamonds perfume, purchased for research
  • Wilmer Valderrama

For her sake, let's hope that she scrapes together the cash. For our sake, let's hope — nay, let's assume — that this list is very very accurate.



EisenBolan, SJW

I so want Barry Weiss to win this locker on Storage Wars. He would have so much fun with it.