What Clothes? Urban Outfitters Presents Naked & Half-Naked Chicks

The models in the latest Urban Outfitters catalog are shot all moody, hazy and soft-focus, in various states of undress. Before we get to the nudity, know this:

Harem pants are, indeed, back. And they’re called “harem pants.” As in, a group of women who sexually service a man. These will set you back $58. Enjoy.

And so begins the display of skin. Distracted by the fact that she doesn’t have a shirt? Toplessness is still hot, apparently.

A closer look: She is actually attempting to push product, you know. The sunglasses are $14, the skirt is $58, the bracelets — can you see them? — are $24 each.

Looky here! More nekkid. They’re selling the hat, the bra, the stockings and the duvet cover. Not listed: The bag, the plant, the part in the contract where posing for Urban Outfitters means posing nude.

Whoops! Pardon us as we intrude on your intimate, bra-less moment, young lady. For sale here: Leaf umbrella wall art, $60; scoopneck tank, $24; geode necklace, $28; beaded plait necklace, $24. Are we to assume that her underwear is her own?

Well. The headboard is silk and $475; the strategically placed quilt is $160. The faux-voyeuristic feeling of watching “girls being girls” is free. Creepy and staged, but free.

Kate Moss you are not. But yeah, the 90s are back.

If you buy that $158 tie-dye dress on the lower right, you will probaby button a few buttons and sit with your legs closed, no?

Is this “sexy”? Let’s see: Unconscious female? Check. Visible nipple? Check. Dress pushed up to reveal crotch? Check.

Oh god. Is this what the disaffected youths will be wearing as they totter to bars this spring? Desperately Seeking Soco?

Urban Outfitters [Official Site]
Earlier: Urban Outfitters: Seasonal Affective Disorder & See-Through Dresses
Urban Outfitters: Sequins, High-Waisted Trousers & The Return Of The Miserable Model
The New Urban Outfitters: I Want To Sell You This Skirt But My Dog Just Died
Urban Outfitters, Free People & Anthropologie: What’s The Difference?