We Read Profiles Of Dubious Celebrities So You Don't Have To (Cut Yourself): Tila Tequila Edition

Illustration for article titled We Read Profiles Of Dubious Celebrities So You Dont Have To (Cut Yourself): Tila Tequila Edition

Every now and then (and by every now and then we mean about as often as an episode of the Law & Order franchise is aired on cable channel or network affiliate somewhere in the universe, etc. etc.) a celebrity comes along who seems to personify the naked, shameless vapidness of a generation reared on "Celebreality."


So say "Chau!" to Tila Tequila — that's "Aloha" in Vietnamese; her real name is Thien Nguyen, natch! She has 1.7 million MySpace friends! (In our day that got your name in the Guinness Book!) She doesn't drink, cause she's "allergic." (Double natch: how do you think she accomplished so much, at so very very young an age?)

The spec sheet:

*In what may be the first correct use of the word by a member Gen MySpace, teetoatling Tila says she found the name Tila Tequila "ironic."


*She refers to herself as "the Tila Tequila brand." And that would be without irony.

*Her take on her career: "Nobody has been brave enough to try to do what I've done. I'm the test subject. No matter what happens, I feel like there's no failure because I've opened people's eyes."

*Her manager's take: "She's a girl who created this fascinating career out of nothing."

Which would mean, he is a dude who has fashioned a career out of some other girl's career nothingess. Which would further mean that we.....oh god it's depressing.

Tequila Dreams, and MySpace Viewers Fantasize [Washington Post]

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