Watch Out, Your Metal Selfie Stick May Also Be a Nice Lightning Rod

Check out this hero riding a zipline, his selfie stick thrust outward, valiantly leading the way back to Earth. Little does he know that, in this moment lived triumphantly through a camera lens, he may have turned himself into a flesh-made lightning rod.

According to The Telegraph, two men were recently struck dead by a lightning bolt as they hiked through Wales’ Brecon Beacon mountains. One of them was carrying a metal selfie stick. Authorities have not yet determined whether the stick caused the hiker to be struck, but preschool curriculums generally advise against carrying metal during an electrical storm.

This is bad news, and I’m not one to revel in Darwin Awards. I do, however, consider selfie sticks a blight on this already-dark planet. If they are agents of death and destruction, well, I’m not surprised. But to each her own, and so, pals: take your selfies. Take them until your phone cracks in half. And if you must do so with one of those ghastly selfie sticks, heed your kindergarten teacher’s instructions: when you hear thunder, toss that piece-of-shit stick over a cliff, lie down in an open field, and wait that fucker out.

Update: The selfie stick was not actually found at the scene, according to new reports. However, selfie sticks are still terrible.