Last night was the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner, DC's biggest annual fire hazard (from politicians, journalists, and celebrities rubbing elbows so damn hard). Host Joel McHale said some things (including a quip about paying potential first female president Hillary Clinton 30% less! lolol get it?!), President Obama said some things, and all I'm sure it was fabulous affair, which has been dubbed #nerdprom.
But the best part was probably this skit where Veep star Julia Louis-Dreyfus spends the day with known hunk Joe Biden. The two vice presidents get up to no good, exploring the White House, hiding ice cream from Michelle Obama, and of course getting tatted up with Nancy Pelosi.
One of Britney Spears' dancers is filing a lawsuit, claiming that Britney accidentally broke her nose during rehearsal and hasn't paid for the medical bills yet. Apparently during rehearsal, a "disheveled and confused" Britney twirled and accidentally backhanded the dancer, breaking her nose. Britney said she was sorry and went on with the rehearsal. This makes so much sense I can't even handle it. SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY, OKAY? Unfortunately, despite being told that her broken nose/surgery would be covered, the dancer has yet to see any of this money. [TMZ]
So Adam Levine inexplicably dyed his hair blonde in a bold attempt to outdo himself in sheer unbearability. If he's not actually Draco Malfoy, he's certainly giving Malfoy a run for his money. [People]
Ben Affleck was banned from the Hard Rock Casino after being caught counting cards. Oh Ben Affleck failed at trying to do something cool? Great fucking news for that new Batman/Superman movie. [TMZ]
Angelina Jolie has apparently penned a movie for her and Brad Pitt to start in together, like a 10 year anniversary of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Wouldn't it be hilarious if it was a Mr. and Mrs. Smith sequel? [Celebitchy]
Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent were the first gay couple to get married in the New York Public Library. Also, THEY GOT MARRIED. [Queerty]
Robert Pattinson had dinner in LA with a 'mystery blonde.' Guys, what if every single mystery blonde in the history of gossip headlines was actually the same exact woman? [Pop Sugar]
Chrissy Teigen says John Legend definitely helped propel her career. Helped. [Inquisitr]
Orange is the New Black's Uzo Aduba kills it on the White House Correspondents' red carpet. [HuffPo]
Kelly Osbourne has a purple mohawk now. LOOKATIT. [Celebitchy]
Kerry Washington's two week old baby girl's name is Isabelle Amarachi Asomugha. Aw. [People]
Happy Star Wars Day friends. May the fourth be with you.