If you've ever been mired in an argument with a significant other that cannot be resolved with conventional methods such as talking it through like mature adults, you might want to bring your quandary to Side Taker. Glamour alerted us to the site this morning, and it is pretty self-explanatory: a warring couple puts up a he-said, she-said description of their fight, and readers get to vote on who's right. My personal take is that a relationship isn't a town hall meeting, and that no matter who wins the vote, everyone involved is a loser.However! It's interesting to look at the polls to see which issues come up most frequently. Maybe it's because of the recession, but in my perusal of Side Taker, it seems that the issue most plaguing the modern, narcissistic couple is money: Money is the biggest tag in the tag cloud and of the recent polls, here's a smattering of titles: "Money! Money! Money! It's All He Cares About!", "Never Flushes The Toilet (Not Lazy - Cheap)", and "His Unemployed Ass Drives The Newer Car". It's almost always men complaining that their wives are spendthrifts, but the voters don't always side with the penny-pinching husbands. But then there's this poll, which just made me sad. The boyfriend says, "My girlfriend is gaining weight. It's an issue for me. I've busted my butt to maintain a good body for her and I expect her to do the same. She won't go to the gym. She's eating very unhealthy. Plus she smokes. I've lost a lot of my sex drive towards her and see myself looking at other women at the gym. I'm no cheater, but I have never had the wandering eye til now." The girlfriend says, "What an a$$hole. You'd think you'd have a little more restraint in describing it like that. I am only 10 pounds over my ideal weight (I'm 5' 8" 145lbs). And that's a fault for you? I've been in a funk. So what? You are so overbearing on me I can't take it. You are like that guy in Sleeping With The Enemy that has to have everything perfect. Nobody is!" Oh honey, instead of putting up this silly little poll and taking advice from the internet peanut gallery, you should take advice from Dan Savage and Dump The Motherfucker!! Fighting With Your Man? This Crazy New Website Will Tell You Who's Right And Wrong... [Glamour] Side Taker [Official Site]
Okay at the risk of being an asshole, I am having a bit of this issue with my boyfriend right now about the fat thing. He has gained some weight since starting his job about a year ago and it looks really bad. Not a huge amount, but to be honest, I was never that attracted to him to begin with.
I could deal with it if he made any effort, like exercising ever, but he doesn't and I just honestly don't find him attractive anymore and I'm tired of feeling bad about it.
Is it my fault for being superficial because I really can't will myself to find someone attractive.
So I don't think it justifies cheating, but lately especially, I feel suffocated, especially since he whines and sulks that I don't have sex with him whevever he wants it.
I mean, I'm 24 and I accept that beauty fades, but until I'm 35 at least, is it so wrong to want to be able to enjoy someone physically in bed?
Also, he whines about feeling fat and all in all its so not attractive.