Warning: Boy Scouts May Cause Extremely Premature Beard Growth

The Boy Scouts of America’s Atlanta Council has launched a new campaign telling boys that that if they get drunk on squishee and accidentally join the Junior Campers, it won’t be the end of the world. The Scouts teaches you to “Be One With The Wild,” which will apparently make you the first boy in Fourth Grade with a long, healthy beard. The ads above are aimed at boys, and there’s a beardless version for parents who don’t want to tinker with their child’s development of secondary sex characteristics.