There is a new sloth at the Pittsburgh National Aviary, and her name is Vivien Leigh. She is five months old and two-and-a-half pounds, and is very “scent-oriented.” The similarities between us are difficult to ignore.
- Vivien Leigh and I both enjoy sitting quietly on a towel.
- Vivien Leigh and I both feel kind of annoyed but mostly tired when our moms explain how we’re doing to other people like we aren’t even there.
- Vivien Leigh and I both like to open and close our eyes very slowly.
- Vivien Leigh and I both like naps, and not moving.
- Vivien Leigh and I both struggle with procrastination.
- Both Vivien Leigh and I have hair that grows “in a very unique direction.”
- Vivien Leigh and I are both very tired of reading the news and needed a brief distraction.
- In the event of an emergency Vivien Leigh and I would both likely be trampled, because neither of us are good at moving very quickly or aggressively.
- But people would probably be sad afterwards, because we are both nice and fun.
- Vivien Leigh and I both “rely very heavily on that sense [of smell] to find their food.” For example, sometimes when I smell Chipotle in the office, I decide that is what I want for lunch also.
- For actually just one second, Vivien Leigh and I would love to not think about all the oil spills that are about to happen.
- Vivien Leigh and I are both like, “Ahh, the president is crazy! Make it stop!”
- I have 10 fingers and Vivien Leigh just has four, but I bet we can do basically the same amount of stuff.
- Vivien Leigh and I are both available for photo ops.