Virginia Partially Aborts Personhood Bill, Was Trolling Us This Whole Time

Illustration for article titled Virginia Partially Aborts Personhood Bill, Was Trolling Us This Whole Time

Remember how Virginia's legislature was threatening to pass a bill that declared fertilized eggs to be "persons" with the same legal rights and responsibilities of normal people who are not microscopic bundles of cells that live inside their mothers? Well, today, the state Senate moved to block a vote on the procedure, which means it's going back to committee and won't be voted on before the end of the year. Hooray for this victory, but boo for the fact that we've all clearly been trolled by the Commonwealth of Virginia.


First and foremost, this is excellent news. Defining "personhood" as something magical that happens when the sperm touches the egg and gives it life in much the same way that God gave that apple magical poison to make it evil is a legal maneuver designed to circumvent Roe v. Wade and outlaw all abortion, the morning after pill, some forms of contraception, and certain in vitro techniques. Personhood could also open the door for such Twilight Zone plotlines as investigations following miscarriages or giving zygotes property rights. It was a terrible idea.

This marks the second consecutive day that Virginia lawmakers have left people the rabidly anti-abortion crowd waving their bloody fetus signs forlornly, as yesterday the Virginia House passed a mandatory ultrasound bill that was stripped of much of its toothy bits. Rather than requiring transvaginal ultrasounds for some women, abdominal images would be taken.

And so the dream of Personhood USA is once again dashed in Virginia. But don't worry! I'm sure we haven't seen the last of them. Your move, Oklahoma.

Breaking: VA Personhood Bill Dies in the Senate [Feministing]



Maybe some of these legislators took a peek at their kid's biology homework over the weekend. Refresher courses should be offered to legislators since 9th grade is a long, long time ago for some of them. What we know about the world is changing every day. We make therapists and licensed teachers participate in continuing education, why not politicians?