Vermont Town Welcomes Lincoln the Goat as Its New Mayor

Fair Haven, Vermont has elected a goat as its mayor. Everyone involved seems okay with this.

Fair Haven, a quaint (I’m assuming) town of around 2,500, elected Lincoln the Nubian goat to the mayorship after Town Manager Joseph Gunter decided that a good way to drum up some support for a new playground would be to charge local kids five bucks to nominate their pets for the role. “It was a great way to introduce the elementary school kids to local government,” he said.

Sort of—apparently Fair Haven isn’t quite as stacked with well-to-do 9-year-olds as he anticipated, since only around $100 of the $70,000 goal was raised. If anything, this teaches kids about the importance of corrupt partnerships with real estate developers if they actually want to grease the wheels on a municipal project. A hundred dollars won’t get you a pool toy these days.

Anyway, Lincoln beat out a crowded field of less interesting animals, like dogs, cats and a gerbil, clinching the victory with 13 total votes. During his swearing in ceremony, he signed his Oath of Office with his hoof before pooping expansively on the floor. We wish him well.