U.S. Can't Have a Lady President Until Al Qaeda Does, Says Douchey Man

Have you watched a man dig a hole with his mouth and then jump in and try to dig himself out (also with his mouth) this morning? If not, I encourage you to check out Donny Deutsch on Morning Joe explaining to Mika Brzezinski, Kathleen Parker, and Alex Wagner why a woman can’t be the President until every other country agrees that it’s okay.

Deutsch was on a panel consisting of discussing Parker’s recent column of wonk fanfic about the ways Hillary Clinton — who might possibly maybe run for President three years from now — might possibly maybe approach foreign policy differently than a male president would. Lady hormones, hugging, soft focus lenses, getting along, collaborating, avoiding direct dick measuring contests etc. You know, lady things. Parker’s column also pointed out that a female leader of the US would send a positive message to the rest of the less-progressive world — that women are also humans capable of doing important things besides making babies and cooking.

But Deutsch wasn’t convinced that Parker’s theoretical Clinton’s theoretical Presidency would be a good thing. Why? Because al Qaeda doesn’t have a woman President. Guys, pay attention: here’s how to make three intelligent, successful women simultaneously gasp and roll their eyes. From Mediaite:

“There’s only one challenge in it,” Deutsch said. “Problem: we have a woman, but our enemies are still on the opposite side of the equation. I don’t think the al Qaedas of the world are going to be headed by women, so it falls apart a little bit. Women plus women equals a win to me. Women and still men on the other side of the table? Theoretically the world would be a better place with women running it. It doesn’t solve the problem.”

When it comes to doing leadery stuff, you see, America can only be as progressive as the world’s least progressive countries, lest we run the risk of, I don’t know, hurting the feelings of men who still subscribe to archaic, oppressive belief systems. Think of the man feelings!

Unsurprisingly, none of the women on the panel were impressed with Deutsch’s assertion. But rather than backing down, he dug in.

“If you have two women down to negotiate something, it’s going to get done without bullets,” Deutsch said. “On our side of the equation, we solve it, but there’s a world that’s still century behind in our evolutionary state or progressive state in how we feel about women.”

Uh oh. Does Angela Merkel know about this?

Deutsch then went on to describe Parker’s characterization of female leaders as “maternal” and imply that a passive female leader would just “breed more aggression” in our enemies before Parker shut him up.