Yesterday Tyra interviewed a lesbian, named Juliana, who was about to get married, plus, her family who refuse to go to the wedding because they don't agree with with the fact that she's gay. I've never really understood people who say they don't "agree" with the way that certain people are born. Juliana's mother and stepfather kept saying things like, "Being gay is wrong. We just wish that she would make the right choice for herself." What they really meant was, "I just wish that she would make the right choice for me." In the end, Juliana's parents went to her wedding, although her mother said on her wedding video that she was "very sad." Clip above.
I'm queer (lesbian) and I have to say: *I* think "being gay" involves choice. I just happen to think it is a perfectly good choice and that we should all be free to make it. The desire to say "it's just inborn, people can't help it" doesn't necessarily help us gay people so much in the long run - it implies being gay is ONLY okay because it's involuntary. "They can't help it, isn't that sad?"
Don't get me wrong, I don't think that being queer is ALL choice or always thought out. Some of us are more likely to be attracted to others of the same gender; others not. There is a spectrum of desire that may indeed be "biological."
But desire is different than how you live your life. Adopting an IDENTITY of being "gay," "lesbian," "queer," etc, living your life with that identity, most definitely involves some level of choice. Personal choice, collective choice, maybe we can't tell the difference between those always, but for sure, there is choice involved. People choose to stay in the closet their whole lives long. Others choose to come out. What we need is to allow the choice to come out to exist and to approve it.
I know plenty of queer people who disagree with me on this, but I also know at least an equal number who agree.