Tyra Turns To Fiction; Lady Gaga Will Take Your Questions Now

Illustration for article titled Tyra Turns To Fiction; Lady Gaga Will Take Your Questions Now
  • Tyra Banks has signed a deal to write three YA novels that will marry modeling with Harry Potter — the protagonist having been accepted into an academy for "intoxibellas," or supermodels-in-training who "harbor unknown powers." What, no vampires? [Galleycat]
  • A lawsuit brought against Abercrombie & Fitch by a former employee who alleged she was discriminated against and eventually fired because she dyed her hair in contravention of the company's "looks" policy was dismissed by the judge. [WWD]
  • Even though Abercrombie had an even worse 2009 than it did 2008, C.E.O. Michael Jeffries took home $36.3 million worth of compensation. A year earlier, he earned a measly $23 million. [WSJ]
  • Cate Blanchett's over-the-knee boots in the Robin Hood movie are custom Roger Vivier. Natch. [Vogue UK]
  • "If you don't feel well, you can come to see us. We're doctors," says Ruben Toledo, on behalf of himself and his wife, Isabel. The pair just received honorary doctorates from Los Angeles' Otis College of Art and Design. [WWD]
  • Lauren Bush's charity, Feed Projects, is now selling tote bags made in Guatemala at Lord & Taylor. The colorful bags cost $19 and $39, and go to fund UNICEF's efforts in the country. [WWD]
  • German Vogue, which seems to be contractually obligated to run at least eight Claudia Schiffer covers each year, filled this most recent slot with a naked shot of the pregnant supermodel. Karl Lagerfeld took the picture, and Schiffer features in every editorial within. Inside, there are spreads by Camilla Akrans, Ellen von Unwerth, and Francesco Carrozzini. [The Cut]
  • Lagerfeld, who is in St. Tropez for Chanel's resort show today, last night screened a new 17-minute film he directed, starring Heidi Mount and Elsa Sednaoui. It looks, to put it mildly, really honkingly bad. (Lagerfeld has no sense of filmic pace and his non-actors achieve a kind of badness so thorough it's bracing.) But Diane Kruger and a bunch of celebrities sat through it anyway, because he's Karl Lagerfeld. [WWD]
  • And here's the trailer. [Fashionista]
  • This set of "leaked pictures" from America's Next Top Model Cycle 14 is so bad — and this article is so fresh in our minds — that we wonder if it's not a plant. Even New Zealand looks less than its best, and that is hard to do. [ONTD]
  • 10 magazine, for its 10th anniversary, put 10 designers on its cover, each shot in the manner of their choosing. Helmut Lang picked a passport photo, Vivienne Westwood chose Juergen Teller, Ralph Lauren picked Bruce Weber, and Karl Lagerfeld, who is multi-talented and perfect in every way, did a self-portrait. [Fashionologie]
  • Calvin Klein's fragrance Beauty, which launches later this summer, has a target market of women over 40, according to Francisco Costa. But: the face of the perfume is 33-year-old Diane Kruger, and last week at a private dinner held to launch the scent, the brand somehow ended up entertaining editors from titles like Teen Vogue while publications for older women, like More and Redbook were left out. Now Calvin Klein is referring requests for comment to the fragrance license holder, Coty, and Coty is not returning calls — sounds like someone knows they fucked up. [WWD]
  • "I want to do a vegetarian range of clothing. I haven't had time to properly focus on it, I'm still designing." — Leona Lewis, who even turns down promotional engagements for companies that sell fur. [People]
  • Oh, look, an unknown designer named Alexandra Vidal just happened to get positive items planted about her Bergdorf's trunk show in Women's Wear Daily and the New York Post. With PR this effective, the clothes are almost beside the point. [WWD]
  • We want to live with Jeffrey Costello and Robert Tagliapietra. The plaid shower curtain sealed it. [Vevant]
  • The German fragrance industry held a huge celebration for itself, and gave itself a bunch of awards. Weirdly, Toni Braxton came. [WWD]
  • Karolina Kurkova and her husband were turned away from a fancy fashion party at the restaurant Kastel, in the Trump Tower, because they brought their 6-month-old with them. [P6]
  • Spanx apparently thinks that women will buy eight new styles of control-wear tops as outerwear. Costing $68-$118, the line, which was given the Cosmo-ready name On Top And In Control, looks guaranteed to squash boobs flat and potentially restrict breathing, too. [WWD]
  • Armani is adding nearly a dozen more stores and stores-within-stores at airports around the world. So next time you need a pair of tighty whities and you've already passed security in Shanghai, you're totally set? [WWD]
  • Bruno Pieters' campaign with Iekeliene Stange is strangely beautiful. [Design Scene]
  • Inter Parfums, which holds licenses for Burberry, Van Cleef & Arpels, and Lanvin fragrances, among others, had a really good three months. Revenues rose 32.1% on last year, to $119 million. [WWD]
  • Bulgari had a harder time of it. Although it lost less money than in the same period last year, and sales rose 12%, it still lost $10.6 million. [WSJ]
  • Maidenform, meanwhile, saw revenue rise 25%. Profits jumped to $12.1 million. [Crain's]
  • Lady Gaga will converse live with Internet users at SHOWstudio's website on May 30, just before her London concert. [Vogue UK]
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Peppermint
Peppermint

CHAPTER ONE: THE GIRL WHO SMIZED

Mr. and Mrs. Catalog, of number four, Unfashionable Drive, were proud to say that they bought everything at Target, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything fashionable or stylish, because they just didn’t hold with such fabulousness.

Mr. Catalog was the director of a firm called Borings, which made unflattering clothes. He was a big, beefy man who lost his neck in photographs, although he did have lots of armpit hair. Mrs. Catalog was thin and blonde but had terrible proportions, which was very useful for stirring up shit in the house. The Catalogs had a small daughter named Dreckley and in their opinion there was no finer girl anyway.

The Borings had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody might discover it. They didn’t thing they could bear it if anyone found out about the Coutures. Mrs. Couture was Mrs. Catalog’s sister, but they hadn’t met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Catalog pretended she didn’t have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unCataglogish as it was possible to be. The Catalogs shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Coutures arrived in the street. The Catalogs knew that the Coutures had a small daughter, too, but they had never seen her. The girl was another good reason for keeping the Coutures away; they didn’t want Dreckley mixing with a child like that.