Tyra Banks Writes About The Future: Plastic Surgery For Everyone

Tyra Banks weighed in on The Future and it’s all coming up a la carte plastic surgery.

The supermodel-cum-TV host-actress shared ten predictions regarding beauty and how the “world perceives beauty” for the Wall Street Journal. In short, girl-next-door is out and “uniqueness will be heralded.” Unclear whether “uniqueness” reflects the style of your weird neighbor or Amanda Lepore but here is a selection of Tyra’s top ten mystical moments.

Plastic surgery will be as easy and quick as going to the drugstore for Tylenol. Emphasis will be on how unique and interesting one can look, as opposed to a cookie-cutter look. People will be vying for that cutting-edge, distinct look in the way that today celebs reach for baby names that defy convention.


— But what if I don’t want a nip-tuck? Will I be banished from the cool club if I just let my body age gracefully? And what if I need, like, actual Tylenol, and buy a neck lift instead by accident, what would the return policy on something like this be? I smell disaster.

Global warming will threaten our crops so natural food will be scarce. Hourglass, curvy bodies will be the aspirational beauty standard, representing that those women have access to bounties of fulfilling yet healthy food, which means they are affluent.


— So we’re going back to the times when robust ladies were a sign of balling out? This idea really made me realize that modern day celebrities are wasting tons of money they could be spending on delicious plates of fatty foods instead of, like, plastic surgery and starvation Goop diets. Free your mind US Weekly crowd.

Skin color and features will mesh into a similar shade for the majority of people. Typical features and coloring will lean toward a Rihanna or Beyoncé or me kind of look. People with alabaster or ebony skin will be rare and heralded for that uniqueness.


— Word Tyra, everyone will be your color? But narcissism jokes aside, this projection does reflect the National Geographic’s forecast of what Americans will look like in 2040 and a lot of them are Tyra’s skin color.

Everyone will have at least one personal robot/assistant/companion. If a person allows that robot/assistant to suggest products paid for by sponsors, that person's robot will be free of charge. In fact, that person will actually be paid to use the robot by a pool of advertisers. The robot will have super artificial intelligence and will be able to sense if its owner is having a low-self-esteem day and will then strategically give boosts of confidence to its owner. "Wow, Eloisa! Your eyes look especially lovely today."


— Oh cool, instead of cat jokes for single women, they’ll be robot jokes. Noice.

For those who choose not to go for plastic surgery, beauty ingestibles (active waters, etc.) will give instant, yet temporary results: contoured cheekbones, rosy cheeks, arched eyebrows. However, one must use them repeatedly to maintain results.


— Oh, so even if I want to age gracefully, I’ll be pressured into buying face lift water to stay a part of the cool club who are getting surgery to look as “unique” as possible. This future society sounds like a lot of work … on my face.

Image via Getty.

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