Turns Out, Shake Weights are Pretty Much Useless

As most of us know, the Shake Weight is the revolutionary exercise device handcrafted in the fertile pastures of SCIENCE that harnesses the divine power of Dynamic Inertia and “ignites” the muscles in your arms, shoulders, and chest.

However, according to recent research published the Journal of Sports Science & Medicine, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. In a study of 25 subjects that performed the prescribed Shake Weight routines, researchers found no difference between using a Shake Weight and using regular ol’ dumbbells. In fact, they found the Shake Weight did not engage any muscle group enough to increase muscular strength.

The study, however, lacked any in depth analysis of how using the Shake Weight improved handjob capability and quality. So fair maidens, shake on, because there’s still a chance that a continued Shake Weight exercise regimen may still equip you with a robust handie befitting the hammer of Thor himself.