Tucker Max on Broadway Is a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Idea

Those unfulfilled by simply reading Tucker Max’s homophobic and misogynistic books about how hilarious it is to manipulate, objectify and humiliate women will be thrilled that they can now watch a staged production about about “fucking fat girls” and other ultimate frat boy fantasies. Yep: Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell is coming to an off-Broadway theater hopefully very far away from you.

According to Max himself, tickets for the stage adaptation of his book, I Hope They Serve Beer on Broadway (clever) (FYI, they do sell beer on Broadway) are already selling so well that the director added more shows. And fans will be happy to know that the play won’t leave anything out:

A lot of my fans will like this more than the movie: One of the biggest critiques of the movie was that it wasn’t completely true to the book. Of course it couldn’t be, because the movie has to have a narrative and the book didn’t, but so many of my fans didn’t care; they just wanted to see the stories acted out. Well, that is EXACTLY what this play is. 98% of it is ripped directly from the books; the only stuff that changed is a little bit of editing to only have the best parts, and then transitions or stuff like that. So know that if that was your issue with the movie, rest assured, that won’t be an issue with the play.

Phew!

The play is only at a 99-seat cabaret space for now, but producers are hoping for an eventual Broadway transfer, one we hope/fear will include musical theater numbers. What rhymes with “RAISE YOUR FUCKING HAND IF YOU’VE EVER FUCKED A MIDGET, BITCHES!!” (Note: Tucker says the woman playing said midget is a radical feminist and a lesbian who loves his books. Mmk?)

How would Fosse choreograph a number to go with “I blow a .20. I AM A GOD. The sushi bar erupts. Men are applauding me. Girls are pining for me. Everyone wants to talk to me. I forgive them their flaws, as they are all paying attention to me”?

If theater fundraisers want to launch a “Take a Bro to Broadway” campaign, can’t they just make Book of Mormon cheaper?