Trump Nicknames Kasich '1 For 38 Kasich,' Which Should Catch On Quickly

Images via Getty.
Images via Getty.

Temperamental gelatinous sponge Donald Trump has finally, after months of writer’s block, come up with the nickname “1 for 38 Kasich” for GOP rival John Kasich. Sad that he couldn’t think of anything better!

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Trump appears to have developed this nickname between the hours of 11:39 PM and 7:54 AM EST, in the incubation chamber where I imagine he receives his nightly infusion of of spray tan solution, alpha radiation, and methamphetamine. The tweets were fired off in reaction to announcements from Ted Cruz and John Kasich that their campaigns will begin coordinating to split up the remaining primary states in an effort to withhold delegates from Trump:

Politico reports that in a longer statement released Monday morning on the candidates’ “collusion,” Trump referred to Kasich as “1 for 41”:

It’s not clear how Trump arrived at his denominator, but the numerator is right: Kasich’s sole primary victory came in his home state of Ohio on March 15, and he remains behind Marco Rubio in the delegate race even though the Florida senator left the race more than a month ago.

It appears that Trump has broken the cardinal rules of name-calling, which are 1) pick a catchy nickname that 2) is not regularly subject to change.

Shows weakness!

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

DISCUSSION

sipowitz
Sipowitz

The gloves that Kasich is wearing are so he doesn’t hurt himself or others.

They haven’t found gloves small enough for Trump’s hands yet and his baby hands have baby fingernails on them so they’re extra dangerous. It’s really a scary situation in close quarters.